Who is Your Attacker?
In most cases of rape, there’s usually some sort of earlier contact between the victim and the attacker.
Usually the attacker and victim know each other. In fact, 75% of all rapes are committed by either acquaintances, dates, or family members. Only 25% of rapes are committed by strangers.
However, even in a “stranger rape” situation, the attacker will often approach you in a seemingly innocent fashion, before he begins his assault.
What he’s doing is trying out various strategies – to test you.
Are You an “Easy Victim”?
Testing you out
A potential attacker will often test you to see if you’ll make an “easy victim”.
These are known as “pretests”.
To defend yourself, you have to be able to recognize the pretests for what they are, and activate your defenses long before he turns it into a physical attack.
The main goal of any defense strategy, whether your attacker is a date, an acquaintance, or a stranger, is to leave the situation as soon as possible.
These pretests can range from someone
- Asking for directions.
- Knocking on your door and asking to use the phone.
- Touching you.
- Robbing you.
Your potential attacker is always using the pretest to determine whether you’ll make an easy victim or not.
The most common type of pretest is when an attacker makes a small request from you, such as asking for the time. Or asking to use your cell phone.
His goal is to stop you.
If an attacker can manipulate you into granting a “small request”, he will then ask another favour, and then another, confirming that you are easy to control.
Once he’s convinced, he will threaten you, or physically push you into a safer area to physically assault you.
Say No and Keep Walking
The safest response to any small request from a stranger is to either ignore it, or to assertively refuse the request by saying NO, and continuing to walk on.
Self-protection is always more important than being polite or helpful.
Unfortunately, most women have been conditioned into believing that it’s “rude” not to respond to a direct question.
This belief makes women vulnerable.
Men know this, and they use it to determine how submissive a woman will be.
Trust your gut feeling. If someone looks suspicious to you, leave and get to a safe place. It is better to be embarrassed than hurt.
Insulting You to Test Your Reaction
Let me give you an example.
You’re in town, walking along a street, and there’s a stranger leaning against the wall. As you pass by him, he makes some kind of insulting or sexist remark to you (usually about your body).
It makes you mad, and you decide that you’re not going to let him get away with it.
So you stop and give him a piece of your mind, or you begin arguing with him.
But that’s exactly what he wants.
His insult is his ‘pretest’.
He’s hoping he can stop you, get you talking, and determine how easy you are to manipulate and control.
Don’t fall for it.
This guy does this to twenty women a day looking for the right victim.
Don’t let it be you!